Head Line
by RockSunner
Summary: What was going on with Toby Determined during the cursed wax figure incident? Did he know more than he let on? One-shot.


What was going on with Toby Determined during the cursed wax figure incident? Did he know more than he let on? All characters belong to Alex Hirsch and Disney, not me. One-shot.

**Head Line**

Toby Determined sat in the front row of the audience that had gathered for the re-opening of the wax figure exhibit, pretending to be bored but inwardly wondering nervously what Stan Pines was going to say. Had he remembered?

Stan Pines coughed and tapped the microphone, causing an annoying burst of feedback.

"You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery'. Please, ladies, control yourselves!" said Stan. "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!"

He uncovered a glittery wax statue of himself.

Soos made a fanfare noise on his keyboard, then a stuttering "Yeah!" sound. Two people in the audience clapped.

Stan said, "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!"

"It's Mabel. Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"

Audience said, "Ugh! Eww!"

Mabel laughed and said, "Yeah. I will now take questions! You there!"

She pointed to a man in the audience.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And, follow-up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?"

"An excellent question," thought Toby, "And uncomfortably close to the truth. McGucket used to be in the Society of the Blind Eye, didn't he? I'm a little hazy on that..."

Mabel said, "Um...Yes! Next question!"

She pointed to Toby, who said, "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"

Did Stan know? Would he tell the world the truth?

Stan said, "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby."

"It certainly is..." said Toby.

All the better to appear that he had no technical savvy, so nobody would suspect all the things could do, that he did all the time as a pivotal member of the Society of the Blind Eye. One such job was setting up video monitors at sighting hot spots all over town, like the side of Greasy's Diner and various monster-lurking locations around the lake.

Stan's evasion of the question was a good sign, too. If he knew the figures were magical he would have boasted about it.

Stan said, "Next question."

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"

"A real reporter. Shandra, that hurt a bit," thought Toby. He wished he could prove himself to her.

But the audience was reacting and starting to demand the free pizza they were promised.

Stan said, "That was a typo. Good night, everyone!"

Stan threw a smoke bomb and ran away with the cash box.

Now was the time to act, while everyone was distracted. Toby slipped inside the Mystery Shack Gift Shop, through the door marked "Employees Only," and into the living room of the Mystery Shack. There was only time to plant one miniature video camera. Toby concealed it in the "rabbit ears" antenna on the top of the TV set.

It was a reasonable hot-spot to monitor. If anyone was up late, they would most likely be in here watching television. Then, if the wax figures came to life again, the camera would catch them when they were spotted and the Blind Eye Society could intervene and erase the memory of the unpleasant event. It was their sworn duty...

* * *

><p>Toby remembered the intervention about ten years ago. Stan Pines had been talking around town.<p>

"I woke up last night and saw a couple of wax figures in my bedroom, standing in weird poses," said Stan. "I pretended to see nothing and to go back to sleep, but I was listening the rest of the night and I heard them moving around."

"Sure you did, Stan," said Bud Gleeful.

"I tell you, once I figure out how to get them to perform it'll be an amazing money-maker," said Stan. "People will flock to the Mystery Shack from all over the world."

It was the last thing the Society of the Blind Eye wanted, and they had to intervene. They erased Stan's memory of that night, but that wasn't enough to prevent future incidents. It took a combination of more memory erasures and robberies from the cash box, but they soon convinced Stan that the exhibit was worthless and the figures had to be locked away. Then they took away his memory of the figures altogether.

With a little more research, they found a man who claimed his haunted garage sale had been robbed of cursed wax figures who only came to life when the moon was waxing. They stripped that memory as well.

It would be trickier this time, since Stan had a couple of kids staying with him. The Society had to be prepared to act at a moment's notice.

* * *

><p>Toby was monitoring the hidden camera at about ten in the evening of the day of the grand re-opening. It was a night of a waxing moon, so they had to be ready. Stan was watching Duck-tective.<p>

"Stupid duck!" said Stan. "Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything? I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere."

Stan left the room, leaving Wax Stan propped up against the chair.

When he was gone, Wax Stan stepped off his platform, which he pushed under the chair.

"No, I don't need nothin', you stupid old goat, except to get out of that stiff pose and sit down," muttered Wax Stan.

He seated himself in the chair where Stan had been and began watching the show.

Toby was ready to call the others to be ready, in case Stan came back into the room and caught Wax Stan in his chair. But before he could, he saw Wax Sherlock Holmes loom up behind the chair and strike off Wax Stan's head with a left-handed blow.

Toby zoomed in the camera by remote control and got a clear shot of Wax Stan's head, at the feet of the seated wax figure, before Holmes came around the chair and grabbed up the head.

"Curse you, you have thwarted our revenge," said Sherlock to the head.

"Sorry," said the head.

The body re-stiffened to its original standing pose and slid to the floor. Holmes stood beside it for a moment, then stalked away.

Stan re-entered the room and saw the headless figure. He began to scream: "No...No...Noooooo!"

Nothing that required the intervention of the Society of the Blind Eye happened that night. Stan called the police, who declared the case unsolvable and mocked Dipper's offer to help investigate.

Toby used the video editor on his computer to pick out the image of the head at the foot of the chair. It would be risky to use it, but wouldn't a scoop like this impress Shandra that he was a real reporter?

Toby composed a front-page headline: "Wax-Figure Killer Gets A Head." Below the headline, he put his captured image. It was a clear shot, with plenty of highlights and shadows.

It occurred to Toby that the photo might incriminate himself. Suppose someone said he did it, and then took the picture on the scene after committing the crime? He needed an alibi, something a bit embarrassing so that it would be instantly believed.

It was a trivial matter to set the time stamp on his video camera to a false time and stage an alibi scene, of himself kissing a cardboard cut-out figure of Shandra Jimenez.

* * *

><p>The alibi worked perfectly; Toby was cleared when the Pine Twins accused him.<p>

"Hey I got a headline for you: city kids wasted everyone's time," said Deputy Durland.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you two," said Toby.

The kids did look embarrassed, and all the adults laughed at them.

There might still be issues at the Shack that night, but perhaps it would resolve itself with the cursed figures killing everyone. That would be troubling, but the Blind Eye Society could deal with the figures once they stiffened in the daylight, and then happily forget the whole thing.

* * *

><p>As it happened, there were no murders that night, and Toby heard that the wax exhibit was closed and all the figures were destroyed. A few days later, Stan reacted badly to an old black-and-white movie, "The Duchess Approves." The last image Toby got from the hidden camera was Stan's angry face as he threw the TV out the side window.<p>

"There's no need to replace the camera now," thought Toby. "Other than those wax figures, nothing really supernatural ever happens at the Mystery Shack."

* * *

><p>Toby showed Shandra the scoop headline.<p>

"So what?" Shandra said. "You got lucky that time, but you're still a miserable jerk and I will never go out with you."

He used the memory eraser on that, and all was well with the world again.


End file.
